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HaveACuppaTea last won the day on August 23

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  1. Steve, I read your post about "status jockeying" I totally agree with that. I introduced two people who I've known separately for about two years, and recently we've started going out in a three. I can begin to see this "status jockeying" creeping in from one guy, he may be doing it innocently, but I will have to bring him down to size, if he starts taking my kindness for weakness. And what's amusing is, this particular guy has been a little bitch when it comes to approaching women, and all the people he's met in the community has been through me. I don't mind a bit of banter, but when it's obvious they're trying to raise their esteem by lowering yours, I just find it juvenile.
  2. If you only have 1 or 2 nights in a place, you should be trying to go for an instant date, as you're leaving yourself with a very small window to get something arranged. I would also say that some of the text exchanges came across as a bit "gamey". When you first text the girl, try and provide a bit more context and mention something you talked about in set. Something simple like "Hi Natasha, it was nice meeting you earlier, I hope your shopping trip was successful. Dave" etc etc Just saying "hey, Dave here" isn't giving her much to work with. Other than that, I think the neediness was probably more to do with your time constraints to get something going. So essentially, you'll be better off going for the instant date, if she's not available, take her number, and keep it on the back burner, until you're back in the area. But as mentioned above, if the interaction on the street was good or mediocre (but she just fancied you) the texting shouldn't be that difficult.
  3. A few others I forgot about - Two of T. S. Eliot's essays "Notes Towards the Definition of Culture" and "The Idea of a Christian Society" are definitely worth reading, and Freud's "Civilization and Its Discontents"
  4. I've read a fair amount of books, mostly non-fiction, probably forgot a few, but the books listed are ones that I own. Fiction A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess - Burgess' creation of his own youth slang "Nadsat" is genius, and the themes of youth violence, rehabilitation, nature vs nurture means the book never seems dated (I'm not as big a fan of the film though strangely). A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley - I prefer it to "1984" I find the story more engaging and I believe Huxley's vision and foresight of what the future will look like more realistic than Orwell's. I thought this was a good summary - "What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions." In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us." American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis - I don't know if it's my dark sense of humour, but I found this really funny in parts. it starts off a bit slow, but once you get into it, you can't put it down. Poetry Charles Baudelaire: Complete Poems (Translated From the French by Walter Martin) - Macabre, seedy, masochistic, idolatry of women (well whores if we're being precise), would some up most of his poems, but they're combined with themes of beauty, redemption, and understanding of the human condition. I've only read snippets of other translations, but this one to me is the best. Non Fiction The Art of Worldly Wisdom, Baltasar Gracian - Just over a 100 pages, but it packs a punch, written by a Jesuit priest who had a great understanding of human nature, similar to Machiavelli's "The Prince" (which I would also include in my favourite books) but has a greater scope. Schopenhauer and Nietzsche among others were admirers of the work. Letters from a Stoic, Seneca The Letters of Vincent van Gogh - A great read, and real insight into the man, his art and struggles. The Classical Language of Architecture, John Summerson - I studied History of Art so I've read a lot of books on the subject. This is quite a brief book but is very learned and if you have an interest in Classical Architecture, this is the first book you should buy on the subject. Early Medieval Architecture, Roger Stalley - Another Art/Architecture related book, just very interesting (to me at least) and not too dry, suitable for student and layman Mohammed and Charlemagne, Henri Pirenne - I hadn't heard of Henri Pirenne before I bought this book, but the subject matter interested me, so I took a punt on it having read a few pages online. Pirenne was a Belgian historian born in the 19th century, this book was published posthumously a few years after his death in 1937. He challenged the view held by many historians that it was the Germanic "barbarians" that greatly contributed to the fall of the Western Roman Empire, he instead argued, that the real nail in the coffin was the rise of Mohammed and the Arab invasions, and particularly their control of the Mediterranean Sea, it was this that led to Northern Europe (according to Pirenne) to become more self sufficient and less reliant on trade with the East (Charlemagne helping to begin this revolution in the North). Pirenne backs it up with a lot of evidence and his thesis is hard to dispute. The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton - This and other books by de Botton got me more interested in Philosophy and other writers. This was also the first book of his that I read and made the biggest impression.
  5. Well, I've only had one dose of the Pfizer so far, and apart from forgetting my own name and where I live, I'm feeling on top of the world!
  6. I'm a similar age to yourself, I didn't start taking action (with regards to the ladies) till very late, mostly because I lacked a lot of self-esteem when I was younger, all I would say is, if you want this aspect of your life sorted out, don't waste any more time, get to work. Give daygame a try. Some people ripen late, forget about your past, look forward to the future. It might be worth checking out Alex Forrest, he wrote "Too Late Mate?" got into game when he was 45, still does it at 55 (he's a lawyer, lives in Poland).
  7. I thought it was one of the guys from Charles & Eddie for a second, or some seedy tantric yoga guru. In all seriousness though, there are a lot of ladies that like that look (I'm also jealous of the hair).
  8. The cakes look nice. When it comes to making crisps and confectionery (basically the unhealthy but tasty stuff) the UK are very good at it.
  9. Hi John, You sound like you've already given up. Thinking like this won't help you, you need to be proactive, set yourself small goals that are achievable, and slowly but surely you'll build some momentum, and start to see improvements in your life, it's not going to happen over night, but you do have to take action. Even something as seemingly insignificant as saying Hello/Good Morning etc to people you meet when you're out and about, will help with your confidence and social skills. Then maybe you can progress to having small talk with a few people, after that, join some Meetup groups with people that have a similar interest etc etc, break the stages down, then it won't seem so overwhelming.
  10. That's probably the better of two evils, I think sugar is probably worse for you.
  11. Yeah, taking into account Steve's age, I'm guessing it was a young Queen Elizabeth II or maybe Diana Dors 😁
  12. I thought this might be entertaining. The very first one of mine I can remember was - Linda Lusardi (for those not from the UK, Lusardi was a Page 3 Glamour model that found fame appearing in the Sun newspaper, where on page 3 you were met with the delights of a half naked lady baring her breasts! Crazy really, but they were the good old days) I must've only been about 5/6 years of age, I remember being round a friends house and his mother was reading the Sun newspaper, and I caught a glimpse of the lovely Linda, obviously being that young I didn't know why I liked her, I just did. My mum knew I'd developed a crush over her and even took me to see her turning on the Christmas Lights! Haha Next up was definitely... Kelly LeBrock, I would've been a bit older now, loved her in Weird Science and The Woman in Red, beautiful face and a nice slim figure, (hasn't aged well unfortunately) she ended up marrying that psycho Steven Seagal (divorced now though). Last up would be... Sharon Stone, a pretty obvious one from the early to mid 90's, first remember seeing her in Total Recall where she played the wife of Schwarzenegger's character, there's a good scene of her wearing a sexy gym outfit fighting her husband (trying to kill him), then she starred in her most iconic role in Basic Instinct, and we all know what happened there! Similar features and figure to Kelly LeBrock really (but a blonde instead). I think I am most attracted to short busty petite women, or, taller slim ladies with great legs and arse. What I've learnt from this exercise is, that my taste in women hasn't changed much from when I was younger, though I would say I was more attracted to blondes in general.
  13. Yeah, cheese and crackers are a good snack option, I went through a phase of having that for lunch instead of eating bread. I try to have KP's dry roasted nuts instead of crisps, because at least they're more nutritious.
  14. I could eat these all day, and I've just finished a packet (naughty!).
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